Man, I'm tired. Actually I guess I'm not if I'm awake huh? Well, whatever I am, I wish I was sleeping. My knee is bugging me SO much that I can't sleep. If I feel my knee crack one more time, I'm gonna hurl.
As I lie in bed, typing (which I am sure can't be ergonomically correct) I've got to thinking. And the thought is this... People will always have thoughts and opinions about you and what you do, but the only person's thoughts/opinions that matter are yours. Sure, people can think whatever they want about you, they may think you did a bad job, made a poor choice, or acted incorrectly. But as long as you don't think you did, that's all that matters.
People may say "I would have done things differently" and that's fine because then it would be "their" choice, and not yours. And if you agree with them, you give yourself the chance to correct the mistake. I truly believe that if you mess up, righting the wrong is not the correction of the mistake, it's the fact that you know you made a mistake and you now have the opportunity to react to that situation in a different way in the future.
Wow, I'm getting a deep and stuff here. Watch, I'll read this tomorrow and I'll be all, "what the heck was I thinking"? And then I will vow to never blog during insomnia. Hahah.
All aboard the sleepy train,
to visit Mother Goose.
Angrygirl's stop is Snoozyland,
to rest her sweet caboose.
February 22, 2009
February 3, 2009
Annoyed and Bored
Well, here I sit... still! Bored outta my mind. And of course due to this, every little thing bugs me. Not only that, but every little thing that happens becomes a super issue. And of courses makes me angry!
For example, I visit my grandmother (who has dementia) every weekend, at the same time, every week. And during all the pain of my knee not working, I still went. And it was extremely difficult. Even though she is in a wheel chair, she is very active and mobile. So I had to do a lot of running after her. Which with a piece of cartilidge suck in my knee was difficult and painful. And I agree, I had surgery to remove it and when I am better I can resume going. However with all the complications with my knee I am immobile. I can barely walk, let alone get myself over to her hospital and I would not be able to chase her around. So, why so angry? Well, here we go!
People are mad at me for NOT going! Even though I had surgery and physically I can't go... people are still mad. And then to top it off, my Aunt calls my Father and complains to him that no one is going to see her. Namely me. My father does not put pressure on my sibling to go, or my mother, or go himself, but tells me that I have to go. He doesn't say "I'll drive you over and pick you up, or we can go together" just that I have to go! My older cousin regularly goes, however my younger cousin, only sets foot in the hospital never! She claims that she can't go cause she doesn't have a car and doesn't live close. Well, last time I checked if you can go back to your mama's house to do laundry, you can go visit your grandmother.
So, last weekend, I'm sitting at home and I went to the bathroom. The phone rings, but I'm not available to pick it up. They left a voicemail though. It was my Aunt. Asking me how my grandmother was and asking me to call her after I got home from visiting her. My father told her that I would be going that weekend. And because I didn't go, she freaked out because my grandmother was alone. My Aunt believes that if my grandmother doesn't see a family member everyday, that she will think that we forgot her and inturn my grandmother will forget us. Well, let's just say, when I visit my grandmother, she has ABSOLUTELY no idea who I am. However my cousin couldn't go because she has SO much laundry to do, that she just couldn't leave the house!
Well, I just have to say, someone else can go. I was there constantly in the summer right after she broke her hip. I was constantly there, and I have been consistently there, unlike my cousin and my sibling! So, until I can walk unassisted, someone else go!
I meant what I said and I said what I meant.
Dr Seuss
For example, I visit my grandmother (who has dementia) every weekend, at the same time, every week. And during all the pain of my knee not working, I still went. And it was extremely difficult. Even though she is in a wheel chair, she is very active and mobile. So I had to do a lot of running after her. Which with a piece of cartilidge suck in my knee was difficult and painful. And I agree, I had surgery to remove it and when I am better I can resume going. However with all the complications with my knee I am immobile. I can barely walk, let alone get myself over to her hospital and I would not be able to chase her around. So, why so angry? Well, here we go!
People are mad at me for NOT going! Even though I had surgery and physically I can't go... people are still mad. And then to top it off, my Aunt calls my Father and complains to him that no one is going to see her. Namely me. My father does not put pressure on my sibling to go, or my mother, or go himself, but tells me that I have to go. He doesn't say "I'll drive you over and pick you up, or we can go together" just that I have to go! My older cousin regularly goes, however my younger cousin, only sets foot in the hospital never! She claims that she can't go cause she doesn't have a car and doesn't live close. Well, last time I checked if you can go back to your mama's house to do laundry, you can go visit your grandmother.
So, last weekend, I'm sitting at home and I went to the bathroom. The phone rings, but I'm not available to pick it up. They left a voicemail though. It was my Aunt. Asking me how my grandmother was and asking me to call her after I got home from visiting her. My father told her that I would be going that weekend. And because I didn't go, she freaked out because my grandmother was alone. My Aunt believes that if my grandmother doesn't see a family member everyday, that she will think that we forgot her and inturn my grandmother will forget us. Well, let's just say, when I visit my grandmother, she has ABSOLUTELY no idea who I am. However my cousin couldn't go because she has SO much laundry to do, that she just couldn't leave the house!
Well, I just have to say, someone else can go. I was there constantly in the summer right after she broke her hip. I was constantly there, and I have been consistently there, unlike my cousin and my sibling! So, until I can walk unassisted, someone else go!
I meant what I said and I said what I meant.
Dr Seuss
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